One week

That is how long I got to enjoy being pregnant. Friday I went to dr and my numbers tripled. We all rejoiced. What a miracle. I was finally pregnant. Dr was excited but wanted to see me Monday for one more Beta blood test before an ultrasound was schedule. Friday at work I began to cramp. That is normal they said. Then I began to spot. Also normal especially for IVF. Saturday I had terrible cramps and bright red blood. I held it together for Daniel. I didn't want to lose hope. I read many stories where women had this happen and are happy with their babies now. As the weekend went on I did lose hope. This morning I woke up and took a test and it was barely there. The last hint of my baby hanging on. Went and got my blood work done and as long as no one looked at me I held it together. Just got the call back from the doctor and it's not good. Number dropped to 25. I get to stop all my meds and take some pain medicine. I guess there is always a silver lining. I just don't know what to do. We were so close! Why would God give us an opportunity for a miracle and take it away? When do we get our happily ever after?

The Waiting Game

So as most of you read before I was struggling to hold back the urge to POAS. I didn't fight to hard a took my first test on Sunday. Negative... I told myself that the test was out of date so that got me through that day. I had bought tests a long time ago on clearance and had a variety, but they were all expired. Monday I woke up and took another kind...Negative. I was slowly beginning to think that adoption was a great option. I began to come up with fundraisers in my head that would help us raise money to help a child that was not our own. Over the weekend I found Early Response tests buy one get one free. What a deal! But this would mean there were no excuses. I bought them and woke up Tuesday morning and took the new kind. I got in the shower, no reason to sit and stare at it. I got out and there were two lines there. I couldn't believe it. Daniel was asleep so I didn't wake him. I enjoyed that piece of happy news all day at work. My mind was still reeling and my stomach in knots. I got home and surprise Daniel with the test and we both agreed not to get too excited until we got the blood test back.
So today was the day. I went in and got stuck and spent the rest of my day with Ginger. However, before I left to meet her I got the call... my blood test was positive. My doctor still seemed a little guarded. My beta was 56 and she said anything above 50 they are happy with. Of course I have to be on the edge. This journey will never be on the straight path, always has to have curves and bumps. She was excited about where we are at and asked me to come back Friday to retest. From there we may have another beta test or schedule an ultrasound!! I cannot wait to share the rest of this journey with you guys. I of course went to both of our parents and told them. Everyone is ecstatic! I am still scared to death that this can be short lived. I don't know at what point I will be able to relax and enjoy, but I hope it comes soon! Thanks to everyone who has texted and prayed!

Sitting Waiting Wishing

I don't know if it is the frappacino I just drank, but I just got anxiety about wanting to POAS (pee on a stick). I was looking up my "due date" online (January 12, 2016) and it said today is the first day I would posibly see a positive on a test. I am holding out till test day so I still have a ways to go, but that overwelming need to know hit me today! Many have asked how I am feel and I feel pregnant. Thanks to the medications I am on I will feel pregnant until I stop taking them even if I test negative. My boobs hurts, I am exhausted, bloated and was having cramps up until today. Hopefully that means that our little rascal has latched on for the long haul. I appreciated the prayers and the word of encouragement. This baby is already so loved! I just hope he or she makes it to see how much!