Anticipation and Fear

The journey to our little one has officially ramped up. Two weeks ago I went in for some baseline lab work to be drawn again and to do the trial transfer required for In Vitro. All of this stress got me a little confused and my appointments mixed up. On short notice, my wonderful mother stepped in and went with me to the practice run. My nerves were crazy because I knew that it was not going to be pleasant. It is practically an IUI (which are nearly unbearable for me) in addition to another catheter going in to shoot saline in the reproductive tract to check for problems. The procedure went as well as they could have hoped and the doctors were optimistic about the upcoming events. Daniel also had to get some tests drawn to make sure his baselines were still strong. 
The next step is to start birth control with the start of my next cycle which should be this week. I am sure you are thinking Birth Control??? That is supposed to keep you from getting pregnant? I am not sure I get it completely myself, but it is supposed to make everything calm down and get on their schedule. They only do in vitro certain times and so I have to be on the right schedule in order for it to work. I have never been so excited about birth control because that means one step closer to have a little one of our own. 

A little update on our furry babies... we exposed Rose and Taz to a lot of water the past week. Taz has an absolute blast in the water. Rose could care less, but if it means not getting to play she will join in.

Stepping it On Up

After a couple months on medication, we decided to increase our efforts and start doing IUI's or artificial insemination. They would take Daniel's sample and using a catheter place it directly inside where the eggs are. I researched and most sites said this was uncomfortable, but not painful. Of course, in my case things are different. After my surgeries and the scar tissue this procedure was extremely painful. So much so that the doctors prescribed me meds to sedate me (which did not help much). I was even encouraged to drink some alcohol afterwards to help ease the stress.  We started doing these almost every cycle starting in October. Our insurance does not pay for any of it and as the money and the pain started adding up,  I started asking questions of "What else is there?" Of course their answer was In Vitro. We began talking about it in February. I received the itemized list of the prices which made the defeat each month so much worse. Friends were having babies or announcing their pregnancy. I just kept asking why me? I have so much love to give and see so many babies that are born into horrible situations. 
So once again we decide to find something we can pour this love into. We had an awesome opportunity to purchase another dog for an ideal cost. This little pup came home with us in May and has been a blessing. Her name is Rose and is an easy distraction with the sweetest face. 

Eve had it easy

“To the woman He said: “I will greatly multiply your sorrow and your conception; In pain you shall bring forth children; Your desire shall be for your husband, and he shall rule over you.” (Genesis 3:16)

So God punished Eve for her sins by giving her the pleasure of having children. Doesn't seem so bad to me! Yes, I know that it is painful, but for most women this is the most wonderful gift in the world! I have come across many people, especially working with sick babies that take parenthood for granted.

Our journey through infertility started after I had surgery to remove pre-cancerous cells shown on my female exam. I was told that this would not cause issues getting pregnant, just issues carrying a baby to term. So for months we tried naturally to have a child. I had always had this feeling that something was not right. After months of trying our OB/GYN referred us to an infertility doctor. Our first appointment told us she wanted me to have another surgery to remove scar tissue that was surrounding my reproductive organs. Another surgery in less than a year scared me to death. So I had the surgery and no scar tissue was found. What they did find was that from my previous surgery, I had scar tissue that completely closed off the route to travel to get pregnant. They tried to fix that, but it did not help for about a year. They decided after surgery that I would start of drugs that would help me ovulate. I was started on Femara 2.5 mg days three through five of my cycle. We started this in August of 2012. Also in July of 2012 we got our first Alapaha Blue Blood Bulldog, Taz. He has been a great addition to our family and put a little bit more Testosterone in the bunch. He has given us a great distraction through most of this, training him and showing him at dog shows.

A quick catch up...

So obviously tons has happened since my last post. I got a job at UAB in the Regional Neonatal Intensive Care Unit and absolutely love my job! I have now completed my Bachelor's Degree in Nursing. Daniel is still working at Weldon's Pharmacy. We now have four dogs (Yes we are crazy). We still have Bella and Zoe, but we have now invested in a new breed called Alapaha Blue Blood Bulldogs. That is what Taz and Rose are. We spend a lot of our time training them and going to dog shows. This just helps take our minds off of the real issue...Family. We always said that as soon as I got out of school and found a job, we would have babies. Because it's that easy right? As I found my job and started working around about thirty females a day, I figured out that it is not. I got this fear that maybe getting pregnant doesn't happen like it does in the movies. I realize now, two years later that for some people (and more than you realize) have to spend countless hours at the doctor and not to mention countless dollars just to receive nothing in return. Some of you may not want to read this. If not that is fine by me! It is personal and emotional, but there are people out there like me that just need to know that yes, there is someone else going through it too!