My $15,000 Period

I know that a lot of my friends and loved ones have been waiting around wanting to hear the good news, I wish I could give it to you but I can't. We received our heartbreaking news yesterday afternoon. I had a wonderful day with my Gigi and had my mind mostly in a good place when my phone rang. Hearing, "Jennifer, the test was negative" was not what I thought I would hear from my RE. She said that things were possible, that I made a great embryo and the transfer was not as bad as we thought it would be. But all I heard was it was negative. I was driving of course and made it home to my bed. Then came the hard part of how to tell Daniel. He was at work, but I knew I could not let him go the whole day wondering about the news. So I texted him to call me. Saying the words outloud were not any easier than typing them in a text. I cant help but wonder why me? I want a baby so bad. I know it's "in God's timing" but this just makes me bitter and angry. I have waited five years for this. I hear of the Duggar chick being pregnant a month after she was married... REALLy?!?! She just now got the hang of kissing. I know that I need to have a good attitude about it and I am trying, but I really want to cuss and throw a fit. We have not talked too indept about what is next. I know we will be taking a break because we don't have another $15,000 to flush down the toilet. I appreciate all the prayers and encouragements. Keep them coming because this is something I cannot get through without the help of my friends and family.