Happy Due Date!! Zander's Birthday Story

So first off all of those struggling with infertility BEWARE this post may need to be skipped for now. I know how it is and just know that this is not sensitive to an infertiles heart. I can say this because I have been there....
I also need to warn the males that childbirth is not a sexy process. So you may want to just close this page up too. I want to be real and it's not pretty!

I have waited to write this post for a time when I am not so emotional. I can now see that time may never come so what better time to write it than the day our miracle was supposed to arrive.  To start out I must say that no one prepared me for the emotions becoming a mother would bring. Shame on you guys! Maybe I could have at least warned Daniel or had plenty of tissues handy. But anyways, let's start from the beginning.

Wednesday September 14th
It's about 4 am and I wake up to an urgent need to pee. However, it looks like I woke up a little too late. I pee and get back into the bed because of course I have to work and here I am up at 4 am. I woke up again at 5:30 and nearly peed myself again. I decided to go ahead and get ready for work because it looked like it was going to be a long day. I got ready and continued to leak "pee" so I put a pad on and thought how embarrassing????  I mean I had been warned about sneezing but just standing around. I packed a few pads just in case...  I also for some crazy reason decided to pack my make-up into a small bag. I was fine the whole way to work but I could tell as soon as I got out of the car that walking around was going to be rough. I mean how do I explain to my co workers that I needed to change scrub pants because I couldn't hold my pee. I got report and had already filled up a pad. I then began to think that maybe just maybe this wasn't pee. I asked a few girls what they thought and they told me to walk over to MEU and get checked out. So I did. They dipped the fluid and weren't convinced so they wanted to do a pelvic exam. So i have been to this rodeo before a few weeks back and it was no fun. Speculum and pregnant Jennifer are not friends. So I go into full blown fit throwing while they are trying to get the speculum in and my water full on breaks. All into the floor. So needless to say I wasn't going back to work. I texted Daniel to tell him he needed to come ASAP. He of course was the smart one and went home to grab some stuff. Since we had NOTHING ready he did a pretty good job.
This is where things become a blur. They asked if I wanted an epidural. I hadn't even felt a contraction. I asked, "now??" and they said sure! I waited quite a while in MEU until a room was open in L&D. Daniel had made his way to the hospital at this point. It wasn't long before anesthesia came in to do the epidural. It was a breeze compared to the speculum exam. Have I mentioned that I was completely closed at this point. Not dilated at all. I went pretty much all day and nothing. I have friends and family in to visit which was nice. But Zander had started some drama and then left the party. As the day went on with membranes ruptured a c-section was thrown around. I knew 24 hours was the cut-off usually so I was getting nervous. I had not really cared before about c-section versus vaginal. But as soon as they said c-section my emotions went haywire. I wanted to keep going and see what happened. So on into the night a doctor came in and still closed. He wanted to manually dilate and i must say I LOVE EPIDURALS!! I didn't feel a thing.

Friday September 16th
After this I was at 2 cm for a while.  Baby was sitting very very low but my cervix (I hate you cervix!!) was not cooperating. During the night I continually was asked to move from side to side. Zander's heart rate kept dropping. I reacted very easily to the Pitocin. Like I am pretty sure they had to turn it off for a while because I was having contractions back to back and Zander did not like that. (Once again I Love Epidurals) I can't remember exactly what time they checked me maybe 4 and I had progressed to 6cm. They wanted to check me again at six. I can remember I told my nurse that I could feel just a mild cramping (not to complain) and when she checked me I was at 9.5. They also check the epidural to see why I was beginning to feel things. They did the ice test and I could feel it in places that I did not need to. So they told me if I were to have a c-section I would need a spinal but
it should be fine for vaginal. Things went into motion. Everyone ran out of the room for fear they might see my privateness and my Mom and Daniel stayed. Did I mention I did not sleep at all the night before due to being moved from side to side constantly?? So of course the intense tiredness hits me at the moment I have to push this human out of me. I remember pushing a few times when suddenly this doctor i had never seen before who looked 12 runs in a yells, "hand me a vacuum, call back up." Do what?!? A vacuum? Back up? Working in the NICU you see some scary stuff caused by a vacuum. They try the vacuum three times and nothing. I have never been so scared in my life. The doctor then yells out that we need to go for an emergency c-section. I went into full blown panic knowing my epidural had slipped out. Thankfully a wonderful doctor came in and calmed the room down. She wanted to give me a chance to do this thing vaginally.  To say this was the hardest thing I have ever done is an understatement. I was exhausted and had not more energy left, but I knew my baby was at risk. I even fell asleep snoring in between pushing.  (That lightened the mood) I gave up multiple times begging them to just cut him out. They encouraged me and cheered me on. Daniel fed me ice chips and I even got them to cut the light out so I could watch in the mirror above me. This gave me so much motivation (before I thought NO Way!) because I could see his hair and knew he was close. I gave it one last push and there he was. Blue and beautiful. (not really. he looked pretty bad at first lol) The doctor fumbled with the cord and it seemed like a lifetime before I heard him cry. And finally he was there, on my chest, the best feeling in the world. I cannot even put into words the feeling of him there. He was the most beautiful thing. And the hair!! Made all the heart burn worth it. I feel like this is all over the place but I needed to put it down on paper before it all slips away from me. So far motherhood is not easy but I would not trade anything for it. I can't imagine life without this little one.

Zander Ray Vines... 18-26 weeks

Sorry for the absence from posting guys! I have so much to share in this post. Since the last post we have found out the sex of our little miracle. As you all know we are having a BOY. Yes I am guilty of being slightly disappointed but I have always had my heart set on a girl. The idea has sunk in and I love this little fella so much already! Here are a view of our little guy at our gender scan...

We also tried to do some gender reveal photos before we knew what we were having so we could go ahead and announce that day. The pictures did not go as planned. I guess that is what happens when you are dealing with dogs, even trained ones. We took some boy and girl photos. Loved how the ones of Taz announcing a sister was on the way, but due to it being a boy we couldn't use it. Had to still share this great pic of our handsome boy...

 

Tried to take some pics of the dogs announcing the gender with paw prints on my belly but they just ended up looking like big blobs on my belly and the paint ended up all over the dogs. It was worth a try though. We ended up announcing to our families over some good food at Texas de Brazil and the waiter brought out their drinks with penis straws. Very traditional gender reveal :D You would be surprised how long it took some of our family to figure out what it all meant. 

We are now at 26 weeks. Everything is going great. Not too many complaints. I have told many people if I could keep getting pregnant I would just stay this way. I love the feeling of Zander dancing around in my tummy. I have experienced few symptoms of pregnancy including some insomnia, terrible reflux that is getting worse and this heat is horrible. 100 degrees is not a pregnant lady's friend. My feet have swelled a few times at work but that is understandable. I went today for my glucose test. Like I suspected I failed by one point. Seriously... one point. So I go back next week for the lovely three hour test. I had kind of expected worse since I have eaten nothing but junk and sugar since January. I love ice cream and gummy bears. I have also had a craving for the cream filled caramel candies. We are working on the nursery in between hectic work schedules. We have the carpet ripped up and just waiting to hopefully get the walls painted by this weekend. Then comes the fun part of laying hardwood floors. 

First Trimester and Road Trips

Sorry I have waited all week to post! Between work and dog shows we have been super busy! I will start with the most important update! Baby Vines is doing well. Already stubborn like it's Daddy. I went for the First Trimester genetic screening this week on Tuesday. Baby Vines says, "Hello!! to all who have prayed for me!" 

 Heart Rate 162!

 Doctor was frustrated because Baby Vines did not want to cooperate. It turned every way but the way the doctor needed to do the test. He said from what he could see everything looked great. My blood work came back negative also. This test tests for Down's Syndrome and Trisomy 18 along with neural tube defects. They will do another blood test in a couple weeks that tests for some other defects. I go back to the doctor in two weeks!
How far along? 12 weeks
Total weight gain/loss? 2/3 pounds
Maternity clothes? No but loose fitting clothes
Stretch marks? no
Sleep? as much as i can
Best moment this week? Seeing Baby Vines waving at the camera
Miss Anything? energy
Movement? No
Food cravings?Fish Fillet Sandwich from Mcdonalds and hot fudge sundaes
Anything making you queasy or sick? Tazikis and can add Olive Garden to the list
Have you started to show yet? I believe so! A tiny bump
Gender? 
Labor Signs? Nope
Belly Button in or out? In
Wedding rings on or off? On
Happy or Moody most of the time? Happy, but tired
Looking forward to? April 12th next ultrasound! 

Our Family has also been busy on the road with our big babies. Two weekends ago we attended a Practical Protection Dog trial. We had some bumps in the road on the first day thanks to dealing with stubborn bulldogs, but the next day proved to be a lot better. Rose finished fourth all around and Taz scored the most point in the agility/food refusal portion.
The next weekend we drove to St Louis to attend the ABBA dog show (Alapaha bulldog show). We had such a great time touring the area and spending time with Daniel's parents! Taz won Adult Champion in the second show. He also passed his CAL 1 & 2. Rose won Top Alapaha in the Top Dog Competition and came in first amongst the females. We are so proud of them and when we do finally breed them we will have an all around perfect bulldog in there somewhere.

10 Weeks and going strong!!

Look how big I am getting!!!

We are getting closer and closer to the end of the first trimester! If anything then I will be able to take some tums and ease this reflux maybe. Little bit is doing awesome! It's amazing how much he/she has grown in just a week! Its little head just popped out there. Or should I say big head! Today was my high risk OB appointment. Pretty much this jist is that I am very low high risk in their book. My cervix issue can not be dealt with until it rears its ugly head and they are hopeful that it won't. Since this pregnancy is au natural that puts me at even lower risk. Studies show that with a cold cone knife/Leep type procedure on a cervix that puts me at like a 20-30% chance of preterm labor depending on how much cervix was removed, but they said it is hard to really tell if that was the real cause of the early labor. She said that I would likely have a quick labor that a lot of times patients like me will go from 1 to 10 very quickly. So right now the plan is to go back in two weeks for my optional genetic screening (ultrasound and bloodwork only) and then in four weeks back to MFM. They said at fourteen weeks the chance of miscarriage diminishes drastically so that is our next milestone to hit! Thanks for the prayers!

How far along? 10 weeks
Total weight gain/loss? 2/3 pounds
Maternity clothes? No but loose fitting clothes
Stretch marks? no
Sleep? as much as i can
Best moment this week? Getting to see baby on Ultrasound
Miss Anything? deer meat
Movement? No
Food cravings? Icees and milk shakes
Anything making you queasy or sick? Tazikis and can add Olive Garden to the list
Have you started to show yet? I believe so! A tiny bump
Gender? 
Labor Signs? Nope
Belly Button in or out? In
Wedding rings on or off? On
Happy or Moody most of the time? Happy, but tired
Looking forward to? dog show season starting so we will be taking some trips the next few months so maybe it won't seem like forever between appointments. Off work for 14 days!!

8/9 Weeks

Tuesday March 1, 2016
It seems like the two weeks in between appointments took forever! My symptoms stayed consistent and nothing traumatic happened. However I still could not breathe easily until I saw our little gummy bear on the ultrasound screen. Dr. Bouknight described it as the little gopher in caddyshack moving around in there. We were able to make out limb buds and she showed us the spinal column developing. And our little baby is moving around. The heart rate was up to 178 this time! Nice and strong! She had not gotten a chance to email the OB's to ask about my continued care. She thought it would be fine to be seen by regular OB's but an email I received later confirmed that they would like me to go to High Risk to at least get a consult and get my cervix checked out. That appointment will be March 17thwith Amelia Sutton at UAB. As bittersweet as it was, this was our last appointment with our RE (Reproductive Endocrinologist). I have been with the for 4 years almost and they are like a second family. I never thought I would get to this point and it is so surreal that it is here!! I mean, I am nine weeks pregnant!
So for my fellow fertility strugglers, I know the mixed emotions that reading post like this brings. I have been there and felt those feelings. I have even struggled with posting what I have because I didn't want to hurt these ladies hearts. It's not meanness. Only infertiles understand it. It's frustration, pain, sorrow, a little bit of envy and anger at the universe for it not being your turn. I wish I had tricks to tell you, but I don't. I will say that the last thing on our mind that month was trying to get pregnant because we didn't even worry about charting or keeping up with it when we weren't doing an IVF cycle because why bother. I mean if IVF was not working for us why in the world would natural conception work. I will say that I know of hundreds of people who were lifting us up in prayer and I am sure there are hundreds I don't know of. My grandfather told me specifically he put my name in their church to pray for me that week of conception and I know a friend that anointed a prayer cloth for me that week. I know that we changed insurance that month to BCBS that was triple the premium so that it would cover more IVF labs and US. I know that we put a deposit on a puppy the month before so that we could add to our Alapaha family (Sorry Mom and Dad!!) We also planned a trip to Canada in the fall that won't be happening now. It was just a whole bunch of craziness and faithfulness that added up to our little munchkin coming into this world! I am just trying to say, don't give up. Or do but don't stop praying.


How far along? 8/9 weeks
Total weight gain/loss? zero
Maternity clothes? No, but have used this as an excuse to not button my jeans
Stretch marks? no
Sleep? Not much at night. Having terrible nausea and reflux right at bedtime.
Best moment this week? Getting to see baby on Ultrasound
Miss Anything? Being able to take medicine for my ailmentsMovement? NoFood cravings? Chocolate Chip cookiesAnything making you queasy or sick? TazikisHave you started to show yet? nope think it's just a fat roll :DGender? Labor Signs? NopeBelly Button in or out? InWedding rings on or off? OnHappy or Moody most of the time? Happy, but tiredLooking forward to? MFM appointment next week

Well Hello there Little One

So for those that follow my blog the last we talked I was to start my period so that I could start the wonderful hormones that might someday lead to a baby. I waited and cramped for about a week before my sweet husband suggested I take a pregnancy test. I did everything short of patting him on the head and saying, "Bless you heart." I went a couple more day waiting on the inevitable... but it never came. February 4th I went home after work and dug around under my sink to find two pregnancy test. Daniel was on the phone so I thought I would just get it out of the way so I would get these little rays of hope out of my head. I took the first one and it automatically started coming up a plus sign. Everyone knows the plus sign ones are kind of hard to read. Thankfully I had one more of the two pink lines test left over so I used it next. I sat a few seconds waiting and there it was. Two lines. I immediately started crying. I mean I'm not on any medications. No Progesterone. No estrogen. Just my vitamins. I yelled at Daniel to get off the phone. We couldn't believe it!! I sent a message to the nurse at the clinic we have used for the last 3-4 years to see if they could run a blood test in the morning. That test came back 107. Which is a pretty awesome starting number. I was still cramping so I took it easy all weekend and went back to the doctor on Monday for more blood work. I told myself that my goal was around 300 because you want your hCG level to double every 24-48 hours. It was almost 600! The doctor was stoked! We were stoked. I finally let myself believe that this is it. God has truly given us a miracle. Last time we were pregnant my level only got to 150. So this is one tough kid so far! The doctor wanted to see me back that Wednesday to check my level one more time. Once again I gave myself a goal of 1400 and it was 1718. So we felt that we could finally tell our parents once our levels looked healthy. We made a picture of the dogs to help spread our joy...

 

 At 6weeks 5 days we finally got to see our little ladybug and its heartbeat. The first words out of our doctors mouth was, "well it's just one". Its heartbeat was 128 and everything looked great and measured perfectly. I couldn't help but cry to see this little one!!

  

 I have been waiting for four years to announce this so I had tons of ideas! So sorry for the announcement overload!! I go back next Tuesday for another ultrasound with my fertility doctor and then will be released to regular OB.

 So far I have had a little nausea, but not throwing up, fatigue and sore boobs. All of which I am welcoming graciously! I will take it! I want to thank everyone who has prayed and supported us through some pretty emotional years. I want to share with everyone the huge miracle that God has given us!

New Year, New Perspective

The bond you form with your fertility doctor is usually something special. They are just as disappointed about negative results as your family and friends. They become family. So it was really difficult to arrive at the decision to get a second opinion. Our doctor suggested Dr. Steinkampf and we were hesitant at first. But we were so impressed by him today. He spent more than an hour going through every bit of paperwork and history that he could dig up. He was caring and had fresh ideas. He gave us hope, which I had ran out of. We wanted an honest opinion and though some of his stuff he wants to try makes us nervous, we were sent to him for a reason. He told me, "Do not give up on your eggs just yet. I want to get you pregnant." So his plans are... 1. We will start with doing IUI's with injectable meds. He feels like we should give this option a fair shot. We only completed one IUI with injections before and due to the painfulness of the IUI's and my cervix we quickly swapped to IVF. He feels that he can use a different type of catheter that should take my stenotic cervix out of the equation. 2. On that note, he isn't worried about my cervix. He believes that UAB is a more conservative practice and wants to go higher on all the meds to help create better and more eggs for retrieval. 3. If we do get to the point of IVF he believes that we shouldn't do ICSI. He feels this could be causing harm to the eggs and possibly causing them to arrest in development. 4. He drew an AMH level since I have never known it but he feels that with my labwork he has seen that my ovarian reserve isn't diminished. I just do not respond well to the meds. So next month we will be doing artificial insemination with 225mcg of gonal-f. I am excited to get back at it and hopefully get pregnant!

Hoping for an awesome new year!

I mean I hate to say it but it can't be too hard for my family to have a better year in 2016. 2015 has left me bruised and scarred. From two bouts of skin cancer, to an early miscarriage and to end the year with a dog bite and stitches. It has been hard, but we have gotten through it. We have so much to look forward to next year. We are on the books to see a new fertility doctor at the end of January. We are hoping to have a new perspective on our issues and maybe find some answers. Also hoping for the Crimson Tide to bring the state another National Championship!! Roll Tide. I will also be welcoming a nephew to the world this year. Excited to be an Aunt and to spoil little Jayden to death!! March will start a whole new dog show season and we are hoping to take these lowly bulldogs to new heights. Taz became a Dad this year and produced a litter of beautiful puppies!! We are hoping to start the process of getting our house ready for a baby in the next couple of months. Praying for God's guidance on pursuing adoption by the end of the year. Thanks for all of the support from our family and friends and cannot wait to share the next years journey with you guys!!

It's still raining

I keep thinking that things can't get any worse. Failed cycles, unwanted periods, skin cancer, cervical cancer and debt piling up. I have learned to keep a smile on my face and how to get through conversation without breaking into tears (most of the time) I never anticipated that this would be my fate. I want it so bad it hurts. All my cycle buddies are leaving me in the dust. Every one of them ends up pregnant.  I knew this cycle wouldn't work. It was doomed from the start. We had already decided to try at the first of the year when my drugs would be partially paid for again. I didn't anticipate my doctor suggesting we quit. She doesn't think I should put myself through the emotional torture of another cycle. I agree, I don't know how I can take anymore bad news. But I have one more try in me.  I mentioned that we have touched on the idea of adoption and she snagged that idea with her fingernails and hung on. "I want you to have the family you dream of" I do too! But is it so bad to want to have a baby bump? To go through hours of torturous labor? To have my RNICU buddies waiting to hear "Peds needed to room so and so."  I suggested embryo or egg donors and said she thought that was a bad idea because she is afraid I will not be able to have a viable pregnancy due to my crappy cervix. We are so torn. We are considering a second opinion, but our fertility clinic doctors  and nurses are like a second family. But I have to put us first. We will have to start the whole process over. Pay to have test redone. Is that the right plan? Or should I give up on the idea of having a child of my own and go straight to adoption? And always wonder what if? I feel like we have one more try in us, but will that just leave us completely empty?

Last shot this cycle

So tonight was my last shot of this cycle. I am praying that it is my last shot of HCG I will ever need. This cycle has been a disaster. The devil has had his hand in this since the first birth control pill I took. I know that with God I can overcome any obstacle the enemy throws at me. He has made me feel like a failure. He has made me feel hopeless. He has made me feel angry. But I am working on holding my head high and allowing my heart to feel hopeful. We received the news that we had figured we would get on Thursday. Dr believes an IUI is our best bet. They do not seem very optimistic, but there is a chance this can work. It's better than completely giving up on this cycle because thanks to my hateful cervix, sperm cannot get in there the natural way. (Sorry TMI)

So tonight I gave myself my trigger shot which will make my body ovulate and Sunday morning we will be completing our 7th IUI. Yes 7th. Seven used to be my lucky number in sports so maybe this is it. Keep me in your prayers as I will have to wake Daniel up at 6 Sunday morning so he can do his contribution to the cause. Pray for good sperm count, a happy open cervix and a receptive follicle or two in there. Pray for our sanity as we complete yet another two week wait. Pray that we give a whole new meaning to Thanksgiving this year. 

Sad face

Sorry I haven't updated in a while. I keep waiting for good news so I can share with you guys, but it doesn't come. I tend to do that. There are so many people I keep at a distance because I can't wait to tell them I am pregnant, but it never happens. So here it goes... I went to my day 3 of stims check-up. Couldn't see anything on the ultrasound which I thought was kind of fishy. The doctor talked to me like I haven't been throught this how many times... 9 times including IUI's and IVF's. There usually isn't much action, but something is there. When the labwork came back it confirmed... nothing. Usually day 3 estrogen is 100 or so. It was 26.  So we continued the plan because once again I am maxed out on meds and I would come back day 6. Once again nothing... Nada, zero negative. This doctor knew that I knew. I cried and felt sorry for myself. Why can't this happen for me? Why can't I be a Mommy? My labwork came back a little better at 126. This gave them hope and they requested I keep going on meds. Let me remind you that we only had to pay about $1000 for meds this time thanks to awesome people donating meds to me and the leftovers from last cycle. We were so excited to catch a break on expense this round. Oh how the devil can get you. So I came back to doctor yesterday and was happy to actually see some follicles. There weren't very many, but it was progress. Just not enough. I already knew it was coming. Daniel and I had discussed that this is it for us for a while. So we had to make it count and three or four follicles wasn't cutting it. My estrogen went up to 600 and they wanted me to do two more nights of meds. So tomorrow is the day. Last ultrasound. Doctors have already confirmed that it will probably be changed to Intrauterine insemination, which is only about $280 dollars, but we wasted about $7000 of meds on this bust cycle. What if this is it for me? What if my ovaries are finally done? What if I am never a Mom? That feeling has started to sink it and it hurts. I don't know if I can do it. A life without a baby. Yes I know adoption is there and I don't mind that. I wouldn't mind adopting a baby, but I want one of my own. I know it's selfish, but I want a baby bump. I want morning sickness. I want to have a gender reveal. Heck I even want stretch marks (that aren't fat induced). I want to wear maternity jeans with the stretchy waste band. I want to feel my baby move inside of me. I want a child that shares mine and Daniels DNA. It just sucks and it has always felt surreal, but you can only be told no so many times before it finally hits you right in the heart.

This is the start of something beautiful

This morning was the officialy start to my forth attempt at IVF. I came in before work and got my lovely ultrasound and blood work done. The doctor saw 5-6 follicles on both sides which is a good start, but also saw a left over follicle/cyst. They just called and said my estrogen was normal so the unknown object isn't a problem and we are good to go! I start Lupron tomorrow and Gonal-F and Menopur on Sunday.With yesterday honoring Pregnancy and Infant Loss, I am grateful to have the opportunity to try this again and hopefully will be the start of a happy ending! I want to thank everyone again on ordering through my 31 party. After making $500 through that, getting a bonus at work and selling my extra Taylor Swift tickets we are well on our way to paying off our second cycle! After researching and making deals on a special site, I came away with spending minumal on drugs this go around. We did decide to hold of on the yard sale till the Spring. With my grandmother not feeling great last week and football season, it has been hard to coordinate a time with my parents and helpers. Keep the prayers coming and I will update you guys as information comes. My next ultrasound will be the 21st so I won't know much till then. Retrieval will tentatively be the last week of October.

https://www.gofundme.com/ycac5g

BCP Stands for...

Batsh** Crazy Person. Sorry for my french but the people who came up with this drug knew that and has been hiding it from us all along. When I was in high school and college I was extremely emotional, ask anyone who knew me then. Even had a stent on nerve pills and depression pills. When I came off to start trying to conceive I was healed. Now I am not saying I am not emotional at times. With this journey, things tend to get emotional. But you can ask my hubby, I feel like I have handled things rather well. Until it is time for the bloody birth control pill portion of the cycle. I hate it! I would rather give myself 4 shots a day than take these things. But unfortunately it is part of the process. And I started it this past weekend!! One step closer to making another Baby Vines! Thankfully this time I am not taking them nearly as long. I should start my injections on the 16th. I have an appointment on the 8th to do another trial transfer to make sure there are not any blockages that have occurred since March. Fun stuff!! Cannot wait to wear all the cute socks I have accumulated over the last couple months!
I also wanted to thank everyone that bough and supported from my Thirty-One party! We made $502 that will go towards paying for this next cycle. This is such a blessing for us and we cannot express all of the donations and help we have gotten this cycle. I will throw out there that my next yard sale is tentatively schedule for October 17th. It will be in Bagley at my mom and dad's house. I will advertise more when it gets closer.
We have definitely stayed busy with our fur children the past couple of weeks. We competed in our first PSA trial the second weekend in September. We set very high goals for the weekend and while we did not make them, we did learn things and accomplished some things throughout the weekend. We did learn our dogs are divas and do not like to sit or down in wet grass.

We also competed in an event last weekend that is meant to truly test protection dogs. Our dogs did okay. We still have so much to work on but Daniel had a great time. I was very disappointed that I missed showing the dogs in the ABBA event which is something that keeps me involved with them. I also just enjoy the company of my fellow Alapaha people! Cannot wait to hear next years show schedule so we can start planning on attending them. 

Labor Day beach trip!!

I am loving my long weekend at the beach with my family! Such a great time of relaxation before all of the doctors visits and dog shows start in the next month! My clinic wanted me to come in last week to have a chat before our next cycle starts. All went well besides the fact she surprised me with a Pap smear and lots of blood work😛 but hopefully all comes back fine so we can get started. They do want me to have a saline sonography done that will make sure my tubes and all are not blocked off and I will be scheduling that this week. We are already maxed out on all the meds so it looks like I will be on the same protocol as before and just hoping for good quality eggs.
We are doing a 31 fundraiser online to raise money for IVF. I have sent out some invites on Facebook but if you haven't gotten one and want to order then let me know!! It is online so if you are out of state you are welcome to order through the Facebook event page. We are having one at my friends house later in September for my work friends but if you want to see something in person let me know and I will get you the details! Thanks everyone for your thoughts, prayers, and donations!!

Starting to Pay off

I am happy to announce that we have finally paid off the first round of IVF!! Woohoo! Working extra hours, picking up two new jobs and really working on saving money has paid off! I am still making monthly payments on round two so it is showing awesome progress. I have a 31 party fundraiser coming up next month that I am really excited about and also my yard sale. I will probably shoot for early October for it since we have three dog events in September. We will be super busy! Cannot wait to see how the hard work with the dogs has paid off. We were really excited to get offer to breed Taz for the first time this weekend so we made a quick trip to Jacksonville, Florida to see what the stud can do. Also more money to go into our IVF fund. Super excited and nervous about this round. I feel like this will be it for a while. I have talked to a few people about adoption and feeling very drawn to that possibility if this  time is a fail. We will see. I cannot give up on the idea of carrying a child just yet. But on a lighter note, Taz may be becoming a father the same month Daniel will! 
http://www.gofundme.com/ycac5g

Are you there Lord?

Sometimes we all ask this question. I know I have the last couple of years! In church this morning, my Dad talked about even David and Jesus asked this question. Why have you forsaken me? In truth God is always there. He lets things happen to us, his distance seems far so that when he does answer we know it is him. He is always there and has his hands in all things. Sometimes he lets things go further than we think they should. It's not up to our plans. I have to remind myself of these things. I have had the pleasure of talking to so many great people due to infertility. I have started a whole business for myself because of infertility. I am getting healthy due to infertility. I am getting tougher due to infertility. All due to God. Don't get me wrong! I pray every day that I "fall Pregnant" ( I HATE that term). I pray multiple times a day that October is the month for us. Because I don't know how to handle it if it is not. I know God will get me through it. But you guys know I am a grudge holder.
I wanted to update you guys on our fundraiser efforts! In September two dear friends are going to help me out by doing a 31 party to help with our IVF funds. So be on the lookout for that! 31 makes great gifts and you can get some Christmas shopping done early! Beachbody coaching is going great! I never knew I had it in me to reach out to people and meet strangers, but I am glad I did. My coach Brynn is a fellow infertile myrtle and to see how she has transformed her life through coaching has amazed me and I hope to be a 1/4 of the coach she is. Going into my third month I have almost signed enough clients to secure my free ticket to the convention next year, but the month is young and I will make it! I have my first coach leading her first challenge group and signed her first challenger which is exciting for me to see! I am also gathering more stuff to have another yard sale hopefully in September when it cools down a little.
Next month I will start my birth control once again and start the process all over again. I would appreciate prayers for Daniel and I for strength and understanding. Pray for our schedule to fall into place so that we do not have to worry about work. I pray for every one of you guys daily. You have no idea how much everything you guys have done has impacted us! Love you!!

 http://www.gofundme.com/ycac5g

Working Hard for the Money

So we have set a potential date... October 2015 we will hopefully try IVF again. It seems like a long time away, but that gives me even more time to try to pay off at least one of our previous tries. I started the nurse and nurture company this week and had my first client. I worked some overtime last week at the hospital. Next week I will also be attempting to make some extra money donating plasma. I have also set a date for my first yard sale. It will be July 17th at 8am at my house at 1340 Patton rd. Bessemer, al 35023. I live out in the woods so I do not anticipate this one doing very well, but wanted to try before having to haul the stuff all over creation. Any donation are greatly appreciated! I have also broken down and made a gofundme.com page. I will not post this frequently. I do not want to beg people for money, but I have had a few people say they wished I had an account so they could support us. We just do not feel right about asking for that since we do still have extracurricular activities. So do with it what you will.
www.gofundme.com/ycac5g

My latest business venture has been such a blessing. I have signed on with Beachbody as a coach and have loved this company! I am a very shy person and thought the coach thing would never work for me, but I have bonded with some pretty great people. My coach is going the infertility treatments and eventually will try IVF with the money she has made through Beachbody. I am currently on day 9 of the 21 day fix and working with a group of ladies in a challenge group. As of last week I had already lost 6 inches! I am eating so much better with this program and making time to work out every day. There is also a sale going on through this month on the 21 day fix, so if you have been on the fence now is the time to order it! Shoot me an email at jmvines@uabmc.edu or a message on facebook and I will hook you up!

Operation Baby Vines

So things have been hard since May, but we are getting by. We had two dog shows that helped provide a much needed getaway and distraction. Love meeting new dog people and spending time with our old ones! They did well in their first protection competition. We know we need to work on somethings and this competition showed that, but next time we will come up bigger and better! We went to the ABBA (Alapaha Blue Blood Bulldog Association) dog show in Dallas. It was wet and dirty, but we had a blast! We met some great people and dogs from Canada. I got to get some pointers and try my shot at judging. Rose won Reserve Champion in the second show! We also got to see what our dogs would do (and not do) in the water.

I have recently began two new adventure in my life. We are trying our best to conserve money and raise money so that we can try IVF again. I have been torn about wether to give up and do the adoption thing. I am not oppose to adoption and would not mind adopting at some point in our lives. But it is so hard to give up when we got so close last time. Just knowing that I can see a positive pregnancy test make me want to keep trying to have our own family at this time. So... in order to do that I need to make some extra money. I have decided to have a big yard sale at some point to help raise funds for this. I am hoping for it to take place on a Saturday in June or July at David's Pharmacy. I just have to get some final plans nailed down and get all this stuff organized. I also have gotten two new jobs in the past week. I will be working as a nurse at Nurse and Nurture part time where I will be staying at client's houses during the night caring for their newborns while they catch up on some sleep. I am hoping I can get a couple of nights a month doing this and working full time at the hospital. I also have started working as a Beachbody coach. This scares me more than anything.  I have gained quite a bit of weight throughout this fertility journey and though I have tried exercise, diet has been hard to stick to. I will be starting a 21 Day Fix challenge group in June that incorporates 15-30 minute exercise each day with a diet plan that helps you learn how to control your portions with healthy choices. I am excited for this challenge to begin because I know that i will see mad results. I will be sending out invites this week or you can email me at jmvines@uabmc.edu if you are interested.
Thanks for listening to my ramblings and caring about my life. It has really awed my family to know how many people follow me and pray for me! Love you guys!!

One week

That is how long I got to enjoy being pregnant. Friday I went to dr and my numbers tripled. We all rejoiced. What a miracle. I was finally pregnant. Dr was excited but wanted to see me Monday for one more Beta blood test before an ultrasound was schedule. Friday at work I began to cramp. That is normal they said. Then I began to spot. Also normal especially for IVF. Saturday I had terrible cramps and bright red blood. I held it together for Daniel. I didn't want to lose hope. I read many stories where women had this happen and are happy with their babies now. As the weekend went on I did lose hope. This morning I woke up and took a test and it was barely there. The last hint of my baby hanging on. Went and got my blood work done and as long as no one looked at me I held it together. Just got the call back from the doctor and it's not good. Number dropped to 25. I get to stop all my meds and take some pain medicine. I guess there is always a silver lining. I just don't know what to do. We were so close! Why would God give us an opportunity for a miracle and take it away? When do we get our happily ever after?

The Waiting Game

So as most of you read before I was struggling to hold back the urge to POAS. I didn't fight to hard a took my first test on Sunday. Negative... I told myself that the test was out of date so that got me through that day. I had bought tests a long time ago on clearance and had a variety, but they were all expired. Monday I woke up and took another kind...Negative. I was slowly beginning to think that adoption was a great option. I began to come up with fundraisers in my head that would help us raise money to help a child that was not our own. Over the weekend I found Early Response tests buy one get one free. What a deal! But this would mean there were no excuses. I bought them and woke up Tuesday morning and took the new kind. I got in the shower, no reason to sit and stare at it. I got out and there were two lines there. I couldn't believe it. Daniel was asleep so I didn't wake him. I enjoyed that piece of happy news all day at work. My mind was still reeling and my stomach in knots. I got home and surprise Daniel with the test and we both agreed not to get too excited until we got the blood test back.
So today was the day. I went in and got stuck and spent the rest of my day with Ginger. However, before I left to meet her I got the call... my blood test was positive. My doctor still seemed a little guarded. My beta was 56 and she said anything above 50 they are happy with. Of course I have to be on the edge. This journey will never be on the straight path, always has to have curves and bumps. She was excited about where we are at and asked me to come back Friday to retest. From there we may have another beta test or schedule an ultrasound!! I cannot wait to share the rest of this journey with you guys. I of course went to both of our parents and told them. Everyone is ecstatic! I am still scared to death that this can be short lived. I don't know at what point I will be able to relax and enjoy, but I hope it comes soon! Thanks to everyone who has texted and prayed!