The christmas socks

So this has been a big week in the Vines household. We have been busy with the holidays and with appointments. We had our first appointment with this cycle of IVF. Tuesday was our trial transfer. We schedule another one because we have not messed around down there since August so we knew things would be tricky. We do not want any surprises when $$$ rests on my cervix. Some of this may get way personal, but sorry this is the life of a infertile myrtle. Let me also back up a little bit to say that I tested positive for the Flu on Thursday. Did not feel too horrible so was back to work on Saturday and work through to Monday. So like I said we have been busy. So after my personal training appointment Tuesday, we headed to the doctor. I had some new Christmas socks I had been saving to show off at my appointment, hoping they would bring me luck...

However they did not really do their job. They did look cute though! To say the appointment went terrible is an understatement. My cervix had decided to completely close up between now and August so they attempted to dilate it. However, my measly half of a Clonazepam was not helping me deal and it was unbearable. So they decided to try three shots of Lidocaine straight to the cervix before they took me to the OR to try there. Yes I said OR! Have you ever had a shot delivered to your cervix? I must say that it is one of those things you don't live through twice. Yes I am being dramatic, but I feel like I have PTSD from these appointments. So they finally get the catheter through and everyone cheers. It is believed that the next procedures will be smooth sailing so we shall see! The one positive I got from this appointment other than seeing my long lost doctors and nurses was getting my schedule for January! I just love having things down in writing. Makes it all so real. So here it is!!!

So yes all of this exciting stuff will be happening around my bday, so I will already be an emotional mess due to another birthday coming around without a baby, but the meds will make it just that much more real. So excuse me if I am a blubbering mess on the 21st. I am also going to try a new thing this time that I have found on pinterest. It is 31 days of prayer for infertility. I will try to post it every day just for those who are going through some of this too! Once again, thanks for keeping up with our journey! I have had so much encouragement it is overwhelming. 

When I decided to do a 31 Day series, I knew I wanted it to be something that would encourage and strengthen other women going through infertility. I thought about what I struggle with and what I could do to ease the burden of this journey- even a little bit. I realized I needed to do a series on prayer because it’s something I struggle with. My prayers regarding my infertility usually go like this: “Dear God, please give me a baby. Please let this treatment work. PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE. Amen.” There’s nothing wrong with a prayer like that; those types of prayers have their place. But I want my prayers to be more than a checklist of things I hope God gives me. I want to learn more about who God is and, most importantly, deepen my relationship with Him. Each post will consist of a Bible verse, a brief meditation on the day’s topic, and some suggested Scriptures for further study. I’ll also be including a free prayer journal printable for you to record your prayers and insights.

I hope you’ll join me in seeking God during the next 31 days!

Day 1: Pray for Patience

“This vision is for a future time.  It describes the end, and it will be fulfilled.  If it seems slow in coming, wait patiently, for it will surely take place.  It will not be delayed.” – Habakkuk 2:3 (NLT)

Praying for patience is scary.

By definition, patience assumes a wait. So by asking God for patience we’re surrendering to the wait. I don’t like waiting.  I want what I want- right now! But Habakkuk 2:3 tells us that God’s vision for our life will happen on His timetable.

God is not running late. Everything is going according to (His) schedule. He knows it may feel slow to us, but He promises He’s not delayed.

He asks us to wait patiently. To trust that He what He has planned for us will actually happen.

As you pray today, ask God to help you wait patiently for His plan to be fulfilled.

October 1, 2014 By Lisa Newton

Thankfulness

Happy Thanksgiving to all of my followers! It's a little late, but things have been busy.  My family had a wonderful Thanksgiving in Bagley. I did a little Black Friday shopping and enjoyed watching Alabama win the Iron Bowl. We spent the weekend in Tifton, Ga with some great dog people enjoying our furry children.

We started our first step to our second round of In Vitro Fertilization. I began taking the birth control this cycle which helps calm down all of my hormones and female organs. I will stay on them throughout December until I start the injections in January. Last round the birth control is what made me feel the craziest so everyone watch out! I will have my trial transfer on December 23rd. Everyone keep us in your prayers as we begin this roller coaster once again.
I am so thankful for the people in my life who have encouraged us through this journey. I have tried keeping a lot of my emotions about it inside, but my true people know how much it hurts each month that goes by without a pregnancy. Every message and comment does not go unnoticed. Love you guys!!

A New Me

Alright so I haven't updated in a while. Things are kind of slow in the fertility world since we are waiting till January to do IVF. We will start drugs and do another trial transfer in December. It cannot get here fast enough. In the meantime, I am keeping myself busy with my family, fur babies and my friends. I am enjoying football season right now as an Alabama fan! Roll Tide! Daniel and I made a trip to Jacksonville to get some socialization work done with our "big" dogs. Rose and Taz had a blast meeting new people and new dogs! Taz even let a young girl hold him and handle him for a while at the show. So proud of where are dogs are heading. 

My newest way to stay busy is starting to work out at the gym. I have gained so much weight throughout this whole fertility crisis and to think that I will gain more during a pregnancy makes me worried about my health. I use to think that me at 150 was incredibly out of control and I am now at the 160 mark. So last week I made the first step and joined the gym. I have done this before and not seen great outcome. I have had a personal trainer and not seem any outcome. But this time, I have this idea of a sweet baby on the other end and I know I need to get in shape. I talked to a trainer who has had fertility troubles and she has agreed to help me through this at a safe pace. I do not want to mess up my cycles  and shock my body. I have enough issues. After having my goals blown out of the water I think this is the best thing to do. I came in thinking I needed to lose about 15 pounds, but after looking at the numbers, I need to lose over 20. So the steps to the fitter and skinnier Jennifer has begun. Daniel has agreed to help encourage me in the nutrition area and that we will begin to cook more at home. I have needed to do this for a while and hopefully I can stick to it! This past few weeks have been hard with many baby announcements and births. I love everyone that has made these announcements and I would not wish anyone to go through what I am. I am thankful for all of the births the last few weeks and though may have been rocky and not ideal everyone is safe and healthy. But my heart aches that I cannot experience this for myself. I am not mad at anyone or sad for anyone but myself. I love you all and glad that I can play with your little ones soon!

Same Old Same Old

I love quotes. I enjoy finding songs, scripture and quotes that appropriately signify what it is I am feeling. Tonight driving home I heard this song by The Civil Wars. It tells of conflicting emotions in a relationship and with me it is the relationship with infertility. I want this so bad, but are there days I would like to give up, of course. I want to break things and call people out, but I won't. I will stick through this with my husband by my side until we end up with a child. Whether through IVF or adoption I am about to the point where it doesn't matter. We did go to the doctor this last week and had a good conversation with her. She will switch up some drugs with the next cycle, starting me on Ganirelix which will stop my body from ovulating and will lengthen my cycle so my follicles can grow bigger and stronger. She still is against placing two embryos which makes me sad, but we will worry about that when I have two healthy embryos. The plan is still to start in January.

On a lighter note I still need to update about Pennsylvania! The conformation show did not go as well as we had hoped. Rose has some sort of yeast/bacteria infection on her skin which has caused to to have bald spots so she did not do as well as we had hoped. Her and Taz both did very well in the protection work section of the event. Rose is a little firecracker and won the Driviest puppy award which is great.

 I also got to take a short trip to the beach with some of my best work buddies. We had so much fun and our short time was well spent. Cannot wait to go back next year!

**Pennsylvania Bound**

I know that today marks a very sad day in our history. I will remember that day sitting in junior high and feeling panic. To lighten the mood and to pump everyone up for the Alapaha Blood Blood Bulldog dog show in Pittsburgh this weekend I wanted to post these for #TBT!!

We will be leaving in a couple hours to drive to Pennsylvania for our fourth ABBA dog show. Super Excited to spend the weekend with a bunch of great dogs and people! I also wanted to give a quick updated on the whole point of this blog...infertility woes. We have been trying our best to stay busy and not think about it too much. We have an appointment with our doctor at the end of this month to discuss our next step. We will try to map out a plan for the next round of IVF-what went wrong? How can I produce stronger, better eggs? Can I put two embryo in? I also ordered three different types of supplements for fertility that I am planning on trying next month- FertilAid, FertileCM and Ovaboost. People rave about them online, but we will see. I am not too positive about natural conception for me, but it is on God's hands. I definitely would not mind saving the thousand and thousands of dollars and getting pregnant for free! Like most people do. One thing that has been weighing on my mind is something Daniel said when we were heavily debating on doing IVF the first time. He was being a smartypants, but he said, "If God's plan was for us to get pregnant, then IVF should not change that. If he wanted us to be pregnant then he would allow it to happen naturally." Now I know that this is not how I should think about things. I mean God created people who would come up with medicine to make us feel better. He created surgeons to cut out cancers. But how do you really explain this? I know that we go through trials to make us stronger in our faith, and this trial is throwing me for a loop. It is so hard when I want to be so mad at God for not placing a baby in our family.  I have started looking/ glancing at adoption sites. It just overwhelms me. i don't know if it is just because I am not there yet. But it blows my mind that most put you on a TWO to THREE YEAR waiting list to adopt!! You mean I have to wait that much longer to have a child that is not mine! Plus it costs like $20,000!! To take a child into your home that does not have one!! It is just so hard for me to understand, but I know that is the way the U.S. works. Okay I am through rambling and ranting. This was supposed to be a happy post lol. Thanks everyone for your prayers. You do not know how much the sweet messages and card and hugs helped me get through one of the most disappointing and heartbreaking times of my life. I am still not over but my friends and family make each day a little bit better!

My $15,000 Period

I know that a lot of my friends and loved ones have been waiting around wanting to hear the good news, I wish I could give it to you but I can't. We received our heartbreaking news yesterday afternoon. I had a wonderful day with my Gigi and had my mind mostly in a good place when my phone rang. Hearing, "Jennifer, the test was negative" was not what I thought I would hear from my RE. She said that things were possible, that I made a great embryo and the transfer was not as bad as we thought it would be. But all I heard was it was negative. I was driving of course and made it home to my bed. Then came the hard part of how to tell Daniel. He was at work, but I knew I could not let him go the whole day wondering about the news. So I texted him to call me. Saying the words outloud were not any easier than typing them in a text. I cant help but wonder why me? I want a baby so bad. I know it's "in God's timing" but this just makes me bitter and angry. I have waited five years for this. I hear of the Duggar chick being pregnant a month after she was married... REALLy?!?! She just now got the hang of kissing. I know that I need to have a good attitude about it and I am trying, but I really want to cuss and throw a fit. We have not talked too indept about what is next. I know we will be taking a break because we don't have another $15,000 to flush down the toilet. I appreciate all the prayers and encouragements. Keep them coming because this is something I cannot get through without the help of my friends and family.

Transfer Day

I know a lot of y'all are just on the edge of your seats to know how today went down. It went awesome!! Couldn't have asked for things to go better, we did get some news that one of our embryos stopped growing and the other one has slowed down, they will have to decide tomorrow wether to let it go or to freeze it so fingers crossed.
However hopefully that won't be an issue ANY time soon because this one is going to work! It was graded a 4BB which is very good. Here is a sheet my sweet nurse gave me to help understand the grading...

So we got there and both got to put on hospital attire because Daniel would get to go in with me and see our embryo being placed inside. I took some medications beforehand to help me relax and had to drink about 700ml's of water to fill my bladder up. It was hard to relax after that!

Everything went great though. The catheter slipped in without a problem. It was a little bit uncomfortable, but nothing like the last 8 times the catheter had tried to enter my cervix. We were able to see our embryo on a screen before transfer and I am not going to lie, I got a little emotional.  It was done in about 10 minutes and they placed us in a waiting area for me to lie flat for about 15-30 minutes...

We were encouraged to have a relaxing day, but I wasn't required to lie down all day. We had a nice lunch at The Original Pancake house and I came home to nap. I woke up later in the afternoon and we took the dogs for a little swim in a creek. It was a relaxing day and could not have gone better. Thanks everyone for the texts and prayers!!

Prayers are greatly appreciated!!!

Tomorrow is the big day!! We will be going in at 11am for our embryo transfer. So this means that tomorrow I could be officially pregnant! Super exciting and nerve racking for us. We spent the afternoon at our best friends house celebrating their twin's 8th birthday party. Daniel and I had that moment where we thought, "Are we ready for this????"

Some may ask what exactly will go down tomorrow... here is the rundown. I am supposed to come in with a full bladder. They are requiring me to drink massive amounts of water to help with this. This will help them see transfer via abdominal ultrasound.  I will also take my trusty Xanax beforehand due to past horrors with IUI's (artificial insemenation). I have a lot scar tissue that re-forms EVERY month and causes them to have to dilate my cervix with a metal dilator. (Yes, a torture device). The past few times have definitely been easier, but they are not pain-free like most blogs or pages say for me.  They will pick the best embryo and place it into a catheter. They will place the catheter up past my cervix. There they will release our sweet little egg. It will be nice to have a little time off to relax and worry (because of course that is what I will do).  I know that it is all in God's hands.  Hopefully we can eat a nice lunch tomorrow and rent a movie and veg out on the couch with our house of dogs. I pray that God give us both the patience with the doctors tomorrow and with each other. I know I probably should not pray to God for a baby. I should pray for his will, but I REALLY want a baby. I ache with need of a child of my own and I want it now to be honest.  Today our friends told us that they are planning to take the twins to DisneyWorld next May and I have always said I would go with them. I am a Disney Freak. I would go every year. When Anna said May and said she counted down and figured I would be having a baby that month, there was not even a part of me that was sad. (And turning down Disney is usually a HUGE SAD FACE) I am just so ready to have my life radically changed by a baby. I do not mind being up all night and having  to work the next day. I am a pretty selfish person, but I am ready to put it all aside and be completely selfless.
Okay enough rambling! I am going to go to sleep so that I can get pregnant tomorrow!! I will update when we get home!! Thanks for the prayers.

Looking for the golden egg

So today was the day that we may have began the process of finding our baby. We had to be at doctors office at 7:15 for an 8:45 procedure. I, of course, told Daniel we needed to be there at 7 so we would possibly get there on time. As soon as we get there they pull Daniel and I into opposite directions. I go into the prep area to put on a beautiful hospital gown and to get my iv started. Daniel went with the nice Chinese lady to give his contribution to the whole process :) we also signed our consents and got the rundown on my meds for the rest of the week. I will take Medrol 16 mg started tonight once a day x 5 days, baby aspirin daily, estrace 2mg two times a day and starting 48 hours after retrieval progesterone vaginal suppositories daily until I'm about 10 weeks pregnant.
It was not long and they come to get me! I get really emotional before procedures and hope to get some versed sooner rather than later. The anesthesiologist tells me that I will not be completely asleep during retrieval and that I will fell some stuff but shouldn't remember it. This instantly scares me to death! I don't want to feel anything! However after I got the first dose of sedation I did not know anything until I woke up in recovery. Everything went really well. They retrieved a grand total of NINE follicles!! Which is much better than the original four! I am in a lot more pain than I thought I would be. Horrible cramps and nausea. I have managed to sleep almost all day in hopes to feel well enough to work tomorrow. I need to save my days off the best I can. The doctors will call me tomorrow to update me on how things a re growing  we decided to do a procedure called ICSI which is where they place the sperm directly into the egg in case there is a issue with fertilization. So they were going to do this part this afternoon. We will be doing the transfer on Monday with the best egg that has made it that far! So we are looking for one that is just right!! thanks for your prayers! I know that God is in control of all of this. It is definitely hard to not worry and be stress free but when I remember that he's got this then a peace falls over me.

Getting Very Nervous!!

As everything begins to get closer the butterflies are kicking up in my tummy!! The fear of getting this close and nothing working. I mean, where do I go from here if this doesn't work? I do not see me being able to convince Daniel that we need to spend that much money to try again. I was extremely optimistic about a week ago, even looking up different ways to announce pregnancy. Things have kind of hit a low point though. I am allowing myself to imagine the what ifs? My follicles not multiplying like they are supposed to just brought me down to earth. But like i have been told this week "it just takes one!" And that is true! I just really would be happy with a few to freeze jut in case! So my retrieval will be Wednesday morning at 8:45. I will take my last shot, the trigger shot Pregnyl, tonight. Finally!!! I will then take a doxycycline the night before and the morning of retrieval. So extra prayers will be appreciated this week. Transfer will depend on how the eggs do once they are retrieved.

Trying to Stay Positive

I have had a little bit of a hard time today. I went and had an ultrasound Thursday morning. The doctors said everything looked good, but small. There were only three follicles that I could see and we want there to be about 10-15 good ones. I do not get very much information from the doctors. I have been reading all these number on other blogs like 16mm follicles and estrogen of 1005, but I do not really get any of that unless I ask. I usually get the generic, "everything looks good." which is great, but going through this I need numbers to compare things too. I know all cases are different, but these numbers give me a goal to achieve. So they told me my estrogen was 561 on Thursday. Some of the things I have read said they usually want it to be around 3000 to retrieve eggs so I have a little ways to go. They told me to continue giving my shots like I have been and to come back Saturday morning. Well, working all weekend makes this a little more difficult. I have great coworkers who do not mind staying and helping out though! So this morning I went for the second ultrasound and came out disapointed. I only had about 4 larger follicles all at around 16mm which is a decent size. However it is not the 10-15 we wanted. They said that they would like me to keep giving shots and come back in the morning. They are hoping that the smaller ones will grow big enough to be retrieved also. My estrogen was 1584 so it is staying on track and increasing like they want it to. If things keep progressing we are looking at retrieval on Wednesday!!

And So it begins...

This past week has been pretty busy for our family. I was off of work for my vacation week so thankfully I was able to just concentrate on me and my family.  I had an acupuncture appointment this week which left me a little disappointed. I am supposed to go two times the day of the embryo transfer before and after. However, my acupuncturist informed me she will be out of town that week. I also tried to get a pic for ya'll of the needles in me, but failed. SORRY!! I also had lunch with a dear friend from high school which brightened my spirits a bit.
I had noticed earlier in the week that Zoe had a lump on her throat. Tuesday it was still there so I decided to take her to vet since I was going out of town at the end of the week. Come to find out she had a high temperature and her gums were bleeding. They drew labs and asked me to bring her the next day so they could clean her teeth. I was really upset because she is ten years old and I did not want her to be sedated. But I knew this is what had to be done. They put her to sleep and cleaned her teeth the next day. They also told me that they believe she may have Cushing's disease. I will take her back in two weeks to draw more lab work for that. If she does it will cost quite a bit of money which we really don't have right now. I am just glad that my sweet baby is home and feeling better

Thursday I went for my appointment with the fertility doctors to just get a baseline of everything and make sure there were not any last minutes cysts or lab reasons we could not go forward. I had a vaginal ultrasound done and labs drawn. Not my favorite kind of appointment, but like Dr. Bouknight said... better than a colposcopy. Everything came back perfect so we are good to go! I started the Lupron shot Sunday morning and will give it twice a day. Tonight I will start the Gonal-F and the Menopur. I have been being brave and giving them myself. I do not know how giving three shots tonight will work. My hubby may have to help me out a little bit with those.

This weekend was also Wired Together Camp. My mom has organized this camp for eleven years now. The last three years I have laid aside my excuses and participated in this camp with the rest of my family. This years theme was Country Western and we had a blast. This camp is for kids and teens that have an internal cardiac defibrillator. We have a lot of the same kids come each year so we have formed some awesome relationships with them. We went bowling this first night and had lake fun and a dance the second night. It is such a good opportunity to get to know some people who just love helping out a great cause.

Getting Closer!!

I have been waiting to post again until I found out all the details from my appointment with the oncologist. My fertility doctor called at the beginning of the week and told me that she was happy with my results and that we could move forward in her opinion. I still have a mild dysplasia, but they are not worried enough about it to stop my IVF. Before I had severe dysplasia which was very close to being cancer so this was definitely a blessing. She said she would wait to say for sure until I talked with the oncologist. However, I did not hear from her all week until today. She confirmed Dr. Bouknight's theory and said that we are good to go!

I also had my appointment with the nurse to go over all the meds I will be taking and how my schedule will look the next couple of weeks. After the 30th things will just depend on how my body is responding to the drugs. I am extremely excited to see what happens!!  The birth control has made me feel a little bit crazy so I will be glad to be done with it soon. 

Also next weekend I will be out of town to help with Wired Together ICD camp my mom puts on at Children's Harbor. Cannot wait to see all the kids there and their families!!

Only Human

There is a lot to catch up on this week. I was beginning to see the light at the end of the tunnel. I began taking birth control pills last week to start regulating my cycle and help calm everything down. I was getting excited about starting meds because that meant closer to holding a sweet Baby Vines in my arms. However, I did not count on getting bad news before the process got started. I received the dreaded news of another abnormal pap smear. They wanted me to come into the office and have a colposcopy done which takes a larger biopsy and special dyes helps them distinguish the stage of dysplasia is present. I have been down this road before. Two years ago I received the same news and discovered i had the worst dysplasia before the word cancer. So they took out the parts of my cervix that help the cells on it. (sorry if TMI). This surgery has lead to a lot of pain and frustration throughout my fertility surgery. They have to dilate my cervix with a metal rod for each IUI which is nearly unbearable for me. They have also had a lot of concern on whether or not I would be able to easily carry a child term. So the possibility of another surgery is absolutely detrimental to this journey. I know that God is in control, but it just seems like once I get my hopes up I get kicked back down. 

I also get a call while I am at the beach with my family from my doctor saying they would like me to see a gynecology oncologist this time for the biopsy in hopes they can take less tissue this time. I am just praying this is all a false alarm and everything is fine!

On a happier note, I did go to the beach with my mom, dad, Nana and Papaw. It was a nice getaway, but not nearly long enough! We had a little adventure during the trip due to Nana having a seizure in the shower with the door locked! We finally got in and discovered she was okay. Just a scratch on her back, bless her heart.  We ate some great food and had irreplaceable family time.

I also got a list from the doctor this week of all the medications I will take during this process. I will have a visual for you later but here is a sneak peak!

Microdose Leuprolide Acetate ~ 10 units injected 2 times a day

Gonal F ~ 225 units injected once daily

Menopur 75~ 150 units injected daily 

hCG 10,000 units (Pregnyl) injected once

Crinone vaginal gel- Inserted once daily after egg retrieval

Medrol 16mg 5 tablets

Doxycycline- 2 tablets

Estradiol 2mg two times a day

Baby Aspirin 81mg a day

Xanax the day of transfer

So I will be a hormone raging pin cushion in a couple weeks if all goes well with my appointment tomorrow!!

Thanks for the prayers!

Anticipation and Fear

The journey to our little one has officially ramped up. Two weeks ago I went in for some baseline lab work to be drawn again and to do the trial transfer required for In Vitro. All of this stress got me a little confused and my appointments mixed up. On short notice, my wonderful mother stepped in and went with me to the practice run. My nerves were crazy because I knew that it was not going to be pleasant. It is practically an IUI (which are nearly unbearable for me) in addition to another catheter going in to shoot saline in the reproductive tract to check for problems. The procedure went as well as they could have hoped and the doctors were optimistic about the upcoming events. Daniel also had to get some tests drawn to make sure his baselines were still strong. 
The next step is to start birth control with the start of my next cycle which should be this week. I am sure you are thinking Birth Control??? That is supposed to keep you from getting pregnant? I am not sure I get it completely myself, but it is supposed to make everything calm down and get on their schedule. They only do in vitro certain times and so I have to be on the right schedule in order for it to work. I have never been so excited about birth control because that means one step closer to have a little one of our own. 

A little update on our furry babies... we exposed Rose and Taz to a lot of water the past week. Taz has an absolute blast in the water. Rose could care less, but if it means not getting to play she will join in.

Stepping it On Up

After a couple months on medication, we decided to increase our efforts and start doing IUI's or artificial insemination. They would take Daniel's sample and using a catheter place it directly inside where the eggs are. I researched and most sites said this was uncomfortable, but not painful. Of course, in my case things are different. After my surgeries and the scar tissue this procedure was extremely painful. So much so that the doctors prescribed me meds to sedate me (which did not help much). I was even encouraged to drink some alcohol afterwards to help ease the stress.  We started doing these almost every cycle starting in October. Our insurance does not pay for any of it and as the money and the pain started adding up,  I started asking questions of "What else is there?" Of course their answer was In Vitro. We began talking about it in February. I received the itemized list of the prices which made the defeat each month so much worse. Friends were having babies or announcing their pregnancy. I just kept asking why me? I have so much love to give and see so many babies that are born into horrible situations. 
So once again we decide to find something we can pour this love into. We had an awesome opportunity to purchase another dog for an ideal cost. This little pup came home with us in May and has been a blessing. Her name is Rose and is an easy distraction with the sweetest face. 

Eve had it easy

“To the woman He said: “I will greatly multiply your sorrow and your conception; In pain you shall bring forth children; Your desire shall be for your husband, and he shall rule over you.” (Genesis 3:16)

So God punished Eve for her sins by giving her the pleasure of having children. Doesn't seem so bad to me! Yes, I know that it is painful, but for most women this is the most wonderful gift in the world! I have come across many people, especially working with sick babies that take parenthood for granted.

Our journey through infertility started after I had surgery to remove pre-cancerous cells shown on my female exam. I was told that this would not cause issues getting pregnant, just issues carrying a baby to term. So for months we tried naturally to have a child. I had always had this feeling that something was not right. After months of trying our OB/GYN referred us to an infertility doctor. Our first appointment told us she wanted me to have another surgery to remove scar tissue that was surrounding my reproductive organs. Another surgery in less than a year scared me to death. So I had the surgery and no scar tissue was found. What they did find was that from my previous surgery, I had scar tissue that completely closed off the route to travel to get pregnant. They tried to fix that, but it did not help for about a year. They decided after surgery that I would start of drugs that would help me ovulate. I was started on Femara 2.5 mg days three through five of my cycle. We started this in August of 2012. Also in July of 2012 we got our first Alapaha Blue Blood Bulldog, Taz. He has been a great addition to our family and put a little bit more Testosterone in the bunch. He has given us a great distraction through most of this, training him and showing him at dog shows.

A quick catch up...

So obviously tons has happened since my last post. I got a job at UAB in the Regional Neonatal Intensive Care Unit and absolutely love my job! I have now completed my Bachelor's Degree in Nursing. Daniel is still working at Weldon's Pharmacy. We now have four dogs (Yes we are crazy). We still have Bella and Zoe, but we have now invested in a new breed called Alapaha Blue Blood Bulldogs. That is what Taz and Rose are. We spend a lot of our time training them and going to dog shows. This just helps take our minds off of the real issue...Family. We always said that as soon as I got out of school and found a job, we would have babies. Because it's that easy right? As I found my job and started working around about thirty females a day, I figured out that it is not. I got this fear that maybe getting pregnant doesn't happen like it does in the movies. I realize now, two years later that for some people (and more than you realize) have to spend countless hours at the doctor and not to mention countless dollars just to receive nothing in return. Some of you may not want to read this. If not that is fine by me! It is personal and emotional, but there are people out there like me that just need to know that yes, there is someone else going through it too!